?

the ocean is always looking for a way into your boat

and the city again spotless

Name:
Madde
Birthdate:
26 August
Website:
External Services:
  • penguinrevenge@livejournal.com
  • one2anonymous3
Schools:
Madde Vachon's Facebook profile

Soft Radio


I don't know if Ivan is dead & I don't know

who to ask. Thin
the last time I saw him, yellow, the hospital
made him yellow. Percodan

made two of him,
one aching from the stitches, one

hovering above, whispering

it's alright, it's alright. Demerol
flattened the doctors into playing cards,
shattering

as they fell on top of him. Behind each-
outerspace, release. at 17: crystal

meth, we loved
the ring of it, like a girl's

name, like a jewel. We stole candles
& a crowbar, tore
the plywood off a ruined beachhouse

to spend the night in a tilted room. We knew

what to take-marijuana
made the world small, a pinpoint, opium

left us in the shower, counting
tiles, valium liked to drive, liked

the red lights of traffic at night, the
heater off the window, the soft

radio. It

was easy: always a two-dollar coat
on Avenue A, you could always

sell your dog. Maybe Ivan
is still sweating, propped at his table
at Foley's, nodding

though no one is talking. His loft,
a Pompeii, holes kicked in the plaster, he

pisses out the window
leaving long yellow icicles to dangle over the heads
of businessmen. On the train today

an advertisement-
a pill rising over New York like the sun,
like redemption, radiating, promising

a clear new day,

& the city again spotless,
the Statue of Liberty, perfect clouds, the water

all clear.
I don't know if Ivan is dead. The same restlessness
walks a young man

through moving subway cars, toward
or away from someone he might love,

as a woman on the platform opens & closes
an umbrella, an enormous lung,

as a man rolls quarters between his fingers,
chanting anyone, anyone.

-Nick Flynn
"definately not coffee", 8-part choral music, acoustic orignals, another bullshit night/suck-city, backs of cds, badgee day7, basil, black & white film, blending, burnt cd's, burts bees, carbon monoxide, cards, caroling in november, celebrating lonely holidays, certain atmospheres, chocolate milk, christmas morning, christmas trees, clear nights, clouds over the moon, coffee houses, collecting shotglasses, crisp days, crisp nights, curling up on-the passengerseat, day dreaming, diminished triads, dreaming, dressing up as-a bee, driving around aimlessly, driving drunk-people home, empty beaches, fall, feeling infinite, finding brilliant colors, following into the dark, frappes, freewriting, fresh crayons, frosty windows, good news, green sticky notes, gregorian chants, guitar, harmony, having a controllable rasp, having an opinion, heat on winterdays, i chords, i starve for you, iceland, inscents, interesting time signatures, jack johnson and spit, jamaican bobsledding, kanye west, key key, knowing, knowing what to buy, lazy afternoons, leaves, lighthouses, listening into spanish conversations, live shows, lj, local shows, long stretches of sand, low key opera, lowfat butter, major chord progressions, making breakfast, making someone's day, making the perfect-cup-of tea, middle c, minor keys, mix tapes, moon in the daytime, moonlit café, mozart, new years eve, nick flynn, non-accurate weather forcasts, not crooked, not french, not hiccups, not paper towels, not skeeve, not tuna, not valentines day, not watching the road, obnoxiously loud things, ocd, ocean salt, ohey, originals in general, paint swirls, painting, palestrina, passenger seats, perfectly tuned instruments, perks of being-a wallflower, pick guards, sigur rós, silence, singing, singing as-loud-as possible, sitting on jettys, sleeping, snow delays, snow-covered sunset landscapes, snowboarding, softly-soaring through your atmosphere, solitude, some food, songwriting, speaking in spanish, st.patricks-day parade incidents, starry skies, starting fight club, states of mind, stealing pepe, sunsets, surprise visiting, tagged speed limit signs, tall glasses of milk, teaching myself instruments, text messaging, thanksgiving morning, the sound of settling, the sun's embrace, the word "bumble", two blocks of music, violins, walking at night, warm rain, watching sandpipers, watching smoke, when no ones home, where soul meets body

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